This morning, I most emphatically did not get to work at a decent time. But I positively refused to pay for parking! And after a frantic search, I triumphantly found a spot. Sure, it was even farther away than usual, but who cares? It was free! (Of course, I could be taking the bus, but that's a topic for another post.)
Anyway, as I was walking to work, something very odd happened.
I passed a coffeeshop stand and thought how nice it would be to get a breakfast taco. Don't be ridiculous, I told myself. You made your breakfast. You have it in your bag with you.
Then as I passed the 7-11 I wanted a diet coke. No, I'm not drinking diet coke any more, I reminded myself. Okay then, my self replied, How about some crystal light? And about then I passed a taco stand and it piped up again, Sure you don't want a breakfast taco?
It was strange. I had this ridiculous compulsion to buy something -- anything -- it didn't really matter what. I wanted to consume, identify myself as part of the great churning rotation of the American economy. Why? What is so special about stopping off at 7-11 every morning to get a beverage? Is it that I want to prove I'm the kind of person who can afford to buy a coke every day? Who on earth would I be proving that to? Or do I just crave the stability of a settled routine?
Whatever the answer is, I will just have to psychologically get over it. Habits that cost money are simply no good.
2 comments:
Habits can be very reassuring. Routines and rituals can be very soothing, giving a sense of order to the world. Humans seem to be neurologically predisposed towards rituals and routines, and this is where the totalitarianism of capitalism sets its roots.
Ok, I'm going to stop before I get into a socio-political diatribe. :-)
Haha! Well, yes, I see your point. Anyone trying to sell something is hoping that it becomes a routine, so that they have a psychological hook into you (in the case of coffee or diet coke they also have a caffeine addiction!). I just wonder why I was craving a routine that involved buying something?
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